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my rants, complaints, woes and pictures will now be featured here. you know you’re excited.

<3.

So I was browsing the “funny or die” website and I came across these gems. I must say, some of them are pretty damn good. Apparently Milk’s new selling point is “Milk helps reduce the symptoms of PMS” and I think that’s a shitty campaign; in case you were wondering. I don’t know why I felt compelled to re post and share my thoughts with the internet but here you have it.  Some of the “rejected ones” are funny and some of them are lame.

Original ads:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rejected (but LOL worthy) ads:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I may be a dick of a woman to admit that some of them made me LOL, but they did. It’s obvi these were created by men who have nothing better to do with their day and an ability to photo shop. Don’t take this as me being some sort of she-ra woman hater or anything; just wanted to share.

toodles!

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“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves… for growing up.”

i know you and her both read this, so do yourself a favor and listen to this.

“it’s like we both have just arrived here like we’ve just stepped off a plane in a new town and the sun was out. i would talk,  you would point your ear at me like i was making some sweet sound you said, “make it loud”. but we can never come back here again we can only hope to  forget. walked through a cemetery archway into a wood that hung so happily alone but the words were all wrong. you traded all my ill affections  for directions to a party across town. you bring the house down.  so, burned is the house. gone is the street. here is the same disappointing retreat. and i need it like hell if i’d lie to myself to think i could live that life over again. where the cuts were like guilt and the taste for your eyes. i say, “we’re up when i couldn’t just say goodnight”. if you cry me a river you can baptize me in i’d say, “i guess that’s it, now i’ve fucking seen everything”.

you were the first real choice i would make but we all make mistakes.

dear donald beck,

(i probably shouldn’t be doing this but my urge to give a fuck left days ago.)

how dare you think you can treat people like they dont matter. i never thought id see you the way i saw you today. i didnt think you had it in you to stoop so low and do me so dirty; shame on me. the people you choose to surround yourself with should have said it all. you walk through life and blame other people for your short comings and your problems when in reality youre the one who made your life the way it is. man up and fix what needs to be fixed. when did it become fashionable to be a coward? do you really think ignoring your problems will make them just go away? be a man and give those who deserve the truth, the truth. youve turned into a completly different person and there was never any life behind your eyes this time around. i hope for your sake that changes sooner then later.

oh and for the record; im not drowning and there is no one here to save, babe. i am better off without you and i wish I could say the same for you. i hope the next girl knows that she will never be what i was to you years ago; we both know that’s true. in closing id like to add that everything will come back to you and i will find the truth in all your lies. you were a good actor, but not good enough.

always,
tawny

“Let’s face it: I’m scared, scared and frozen. First, I guess I’m afraid for myself…the old primitive urge for survival. It’s getting so I live every moment with terrible intensity. It all flowed over me with a screaming ache of pain…remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted. When you feel that this may be good-bye, the last time, it hits you harder.” – Sylvia Plath

makes sense. i get it now. change is a comin even if it breaks me in two. stay tuned.

xo.

 

“a mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”