my my my, how things have changed.  i dont have the energy to go into it all (working retail during the holiday season is a BITCH) but things have taken a turn. some bad turns, some really really good turns. a good turn you ask? well,  i am moving on up in the corporate world and taking a stab at working as a merchandise administrator- oooooh la la. it’s so interesting and i believe i have found a career path (*gasp*). its amazing to see how things work on THIS end and to see exactly what goes into it.  i can safely say that i just might know what i want to be when i grow up. i would like to a web merchandiser. i never thought i would find something that interests me and challenges me as much as this does. now when family looks at me tell me they are proud of me, i know they mean it and it feels great. sigh. look who’s growing up, bitches.

i’ve finally learned to be by myself and not feel like a loser while doing it. i always thought that you needed someone to be in a relationship with you to feel validated and now even saying that out loud makes me feel like a dumb broad. i am finding out how to depend on myself and make things happen for myself. it is one of the toughest things i have ever done in the 27 years i have been alive, but i like it. i dont need to have a boyfriend to feel worth something to someone else. i know there are a handful of people who really do love me and really do care about my well being and that is more then enough love i need right now.

i know everyone says “im excited for the new year!” and it usually sounds very cliche to me but i really AM excited for the new year. things are going to start happening that have never happened before and it terrifies me but at the same time it excites me. this whole depending on myself thing is a little gnarly and i am going to have to train myself OUT of habits (example: shopping. i do NOT need those new shoes to get by) and INTO brand new ones (example: a savings account). i guess at this point, i am making moves and if you wanna make them with me, then so be it. if not, it was nice knowin ya.

hugs and kisses.