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my rants, complaints, woes and pictures will now be featured here. you know you’re excited.

<3.

So I was browsing the “funny or die” website and I came across these gems. I must say, some of them are pretty damn good. Apparently Milk’s new selling point is “Milk helps reduce the symptoms of PMS” and I think that’s a shitty campaign; in case you were wondering. I don’t know why I felt compelled to re post and share my thoughts with the internet but here you have it.  Some of the “rejected ones” are funny and some of them are lame.

Original ads:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rejected (but LOL worthy) ads:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I may be a dick of a woman to admit that some of them made me LOL, but they did. It’s obvi these were created by men who have nothing better to do with their day and an ability to photo shop. Don’t take this as me being some sort of she-ra woman hater or anything; just wanted to share.

toodles!

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“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves… for growing up.”

i know you and her both read this, so do yourself a favor and listen to this.

“love is a form of prejudice. you love what you need, you love what makes you feel good, you love what is convenient. how can you say you love one person when there are ten thousand people in the world that you would love more if you ever met them? but you’ll never meet them. all right, so we do the best we can. granted. but we must still realize that love is just the result of a chance encounter. most people make too much of it. on these grounds a good fuck is not to be entirely scorned. but that’s the result of a chance meeting too. you’re damned right. drink up. we’ll have another.”

my my my, how things have changed.  i dont have the energy to go into it all (working retail during the holiday season is a BITCH) but things have taken a turn. some bad turns, some really really good turns. a good turn you ask? well,  i am moving on up in the corporate world and taking a stab at working as a merchandise administrator- oooooh la la. it’s so interesting and i believe i have found a career path (*gasp*). its amazing to see how things work on THIS end and to see exactly what goes into it.  i can safely say that i just might know what i want to be when i grow up. i would like to a web merchandiser. i never thought i would find something that interests me and challenges me as much as this does. now when family looks at me tell me they are proud of me, i know they mean it and it feels great. sigh. look who’s growing up, bitches.

i’ve finally learned to be by myself and not feel like a loser while doing it. i always thought that you needed someone to be in a relationship with you to feel validated and now even saying that out loud makes me feel like a dumb broad. i am finding out how to depend on myself and make things happen for myself. it is one of the toughest things i have ever done in the 27 years i have been alive, but i like it. i dont need to have a boyfriend to feel worth something to someone else. i know there are a handful of people who really do love me and really do care about my well being and that is more then enough love i need right now.

i know everyone says “im excited for the new year!” and it usually sounds very cliche to me but i really AM excited for the new year. things are going to start happening that have never happened before and it terrifies me but at the same time it excites me. this whole depending on myself thing is a little gnarly and i am going to have to train myself OUT of habits (example: shopping. i do NOT need those new shoes to get by) and INTO brand new ones (example: a savings account). i guess at this point, i am making moves and if you wanna make them with me, then so be it. if not, it was nice knowin ya.

hugs and kisses.

“it’s like we both have just arrived here like we’ve just stepped off a plane in a new town and the sun was out. i would talk,  you would point your ear at me like i was making some sweet sound you said, “make it loud”. but we can never come back here again we can only hope to  forget. walked through a cemetery archway into a wood that hung so happily alone but the words were all wrong. you traded all my ill affections  for directions to a party across town. you bring the house down.  so, burned is the house. gone is the street. here is the same disappointing retreat. and i need it like hell if i’d lie to myself to think i could live that life over again. where the cuts were like guilt and the taste for your eyes. i say, “we’re up when i couldn’t just say goodnight”. if you cry me a river you can baptize me in i’d say, “i guess that’s it, now i’ve fucking seen everything”.

you were the first real choice i would make but we all make mistakes.

dear donald beck,

(i probably shouldn’t be doing this but my urge to give a fuck left days ago.)

how dare you think you can treat people like they dont matter. i never thought id see you the way i saw you today. i didnt think you had it in you to stoop so low and do me so dirty; shame on me. the people you choose to surround yourself with should have said it all. you walk through life and blame other people for your short comings and your problems when in reality youre the one who made your life the way it is. man up and fix what needs to be fixed. when did it become fashionable to be a coward? do you really think ignoring your problems will make them just go away? be a man and give those who deserve the truth, the truth. youve turned into a completly different person and there was never any life behind your eyes this time around. i hope for your sake that changes sooner then later.

oh and for the record; im not drowning and there is no one here to save, babe. i am better off without you and i wish I could say the same for you. i hope the next girl knows that she will never be what i was to you years ago; we both know that’s true. in closing id like to add that everything will come back to you and i will find the truth in all your lies. you were a good actor, but not good enough.

always,
tawny